busan la..

good thing having finished studying and still unemployed is it get me to where i used to be loved doing..reading..

during most of my life at utp, i can hardly find time to read academic books,unless there are assignments, tests, and exams of course (lots of distracting and interesting things than can be more fun :P ), let alone finding time to read non-academic ones..

i'm normally not so fussy about what genres of books listed in my books waiting-to-be-read list.. i cover mostly of everything, from fiction to non-fiction, from thriller to love stories to even those mythical and historical.. depending on the mood and what state of mind i'm in..

but for books related to warfare, i have to say a big NO.. that is definitely not going to be something that i'll read..hehe.. xminat.. xpat nak tolong..

once, during my intern, as usual i'll carry a book to entertain me while waiting for public transports.. out of curiosity, i take a book about holocaust from the bookshelf at home.. i have a very very limited knowledge of holocaust as if i dont know a thing about them.. all i know is

• an act of mass destruction and loss of life (especially in war or by fire); "a nuclear holocaust"
• the mass murder of Jews under the German Nazi regime from 1941 until 1945
  wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webw

definition from http://library.thinkquest.org:

The Holocaust is generally regarded as the systematic slaughter of not only 6 million Jews, (two-thirds of the total European Jewish population), the primary victims, but also 5 million others, approximately 11 million individuals wiped off the Earth by the Nazi regime and its collaborators.

and that is all that i know.. the book, as later i found out, was not meant for the reading of people that are at the same level as i am.. the more i flipped through the pages, the more i became clueless.. i have no clue at all about the name and organization mentioned..

seriously, warfare and whatever got to do with that is far far away from my forte.. things that got to to do with war that interest me is probably only gundam 00 :)

these few days, i had started back my bedtime reading ritual.. last night, i got a hold of 'The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail',(is it too heavy for bedtime reading?..haha..xjumpa buku yang menarik..plus, i have not read the book yet..last nite only get past the introduction XD..)..
let's see how far this book can interest me..

final of final

tepat kul 12 smlm, abe da paper terakhir di utp (amiin~)..
komen?
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should i say more?
ngaa~
super duper kbkk..
pdn la koswok sumorg hampir full mark pon..
harap koswok bekapkan je la..
><" aku ditempatkan kat last row sekali, siap duk usyar2 org bile blurr nk jawab.. rase cam nk kuar awl je tapi mengenangkan paper yg last dan xde sape pon yg kuar.. bila da bes paper, rupe2nye ramai je yg nk kuar awl, tp sume cam menunggu sum1 stat kuar dulu.. last2, xde sape pon yg kuar dulu.. gaa~

::petchem-che04::
kami hanya 13 org

-sempat gak merasa sume venue xm kat utp neh.. undercroft pon da rase time amek OM ri tu.. una semangat je nak amek gamba kat chencellor..hehe.. nnt time convo la una ek-


balik2 je terkunci pintu time nak g beli makanan.. kunci ngan kad m3x dlm bilik.. seb bek da amek enset ngan purse siap2 time kuar tu.. seb bek gak time tu una xbalik umah lg, ada la tempat berteduh.. dan menanti lah diri ini kepulangan rumet dari irc.. puas tido dan bergolek2 atas katil una da.. akhirnye kul 530 baru ley masuk bilik.. ><" mlm nye:: jeng3x.. g final outing ngan dak2 #emaresem.. list kete azree: azree, ipe, me, anis, aida (semenjak dua neh salu tercampak nek kete azree, ni da kali ke4 kot..)
list kete azlia: azlia, mashi, yani, mobeus, rizuwan (special guest cenel emaresem)

yg len, ade yg ade paper lagi.. ade yang ade pisentation fyp.. ade yg da balik.. ngaa~

agenda utama: gi mkn steamboat kat johnny's~
mkn byk tp xkenyang gak..
ngaa~
since there are 10 of us, we were divided with 2 pots..
yg my side mkn happening gile..
kejap gile da abes..
walhal the other side baru nak start..
XD

next stop: bowling @ jj~
noob cam aku dpt gak 1 strike ngan 1 spare.. huu~.. hepi2.. walopon x la sehebat ipe ngan mobeus.. derg da terer..teeutama ipe, x strike, spare..cess..tp ok, wut.. considering this is my (jap nk kire..) 4th time men bowling~ XD

another stop: shogun karok @ gopeng..
one thing i gotta say.. this is the 1st time penah masuk karok dan sesungguhnye it doesnt suit me well.. not very much comfy environment 4 me..huhu.. lgpon kan, sore i xsedap~ .. mashi ngan azlia je pon duk conquer.. hehe.. hidup di u, cukup merasa sume bende seblom grad XD ..

.. mekdi sepam..

final stop: depan pondok pak guard @ pagar utp..
sesi fotografi beramai2 walopon sorg2 mata da ngantuk gile (especially me.. siap da kena tegur mata sepet ><)..
lompat2 atas pagar utp..
takut patah lak pagar utp tu.. kang xpasal2 xley wat clearance, xley grad plak kan.. ramai2 panjat duk atas batu tulis nama "UTP" ..huwaa~.. mashi tolong angkatkan.. takuut tinggi~~.. ganas sungguh mashi..huuu..
posing ramai2 kat tepi jln depan tugu rasmi utp..
pakgad wat bodo je.. mesti mls da nak melayan peel dak2 utp XD
sebenarnye nk g amek gamba ngan pakgad.. tetapi.. hee~.. pakgad cam xmo lyn je.. hee~


tq guys.. last memories together.. ntah bila la kita sume nak jumpa lagi.. tunggu time convo je la nanti.. (tuan punya kamera: nak gamba mlm tadi~~~)

congrats mashi for ur engagement.. nanti kawen jgn lupe jemput lak.. die da plan nk kawen time intern nanti.. waa~.. chukhan mida~ aku yang dah nak grad ni pon masih ::missing words:: -tak terkata- ..

thins need to be done next: siapkan PDP, wat slide fyp, wat clearance dan plg penting: carik KEJE!!

psssttt: dak2 #johnny's bila lak nak wat photoshoot?

lampu meja, tiang tnb, wire telekom, pencawang maxis

lampu meja bunuh diri? gaaa~~

suke~ bunga tulip!~ XD

tiang tnb

copper cable yg digunakan telekom = wire telekom kah?
(assume je same ek)

pencawang maxis..


apekah persamaan mereka semua?
haha..
hanya kita je taw..
XD
hahaha~



cyg pencawang maxis~~
:P

tired

i think of you again like a bad habit..i get tired of this hard life..so I countlessly laugh when i think of you, cry when i miss you..i got tired of it and fell asleep..your love makes you feel difficult, so you turn around like a rough wind..my lack of understanding, uncertain future, i couldn’t take it anymore..

i wanted to wipe the tears around your wetted eyes..but the image reflected in your eyes isn’t me, it’s someone else baby..

don’t lie baby, tell me ‘this isn’t it’..your head looks down and you can’t say anything..why are you making me miserable..why do you feel sorry for me?..stop now, leave after making me hate you foolish love left with wounds..bye bye..everything’s gonna be alright, right?

love came and left again like a migratory bird..“my heart hurts more,” i tell you endlessly but you were stubborn everyday..just like smoking a hit you can forget about us already as if it’s easy..“meet another woman and live well,” ok?..

friend, what did i tell you, i’m not sure about her..once a glass cup is broken, it’s hard to put it back together..a game with an expected ending, nothin’ never ever change..i felt more anxious while i was watching from the sidelines..

look, she will fall asleep while nestling in another guy’s arms..she will come looking for you a year or 2 later (let him go girl)..

don’t lie baby, tell me ‘this isn’t it’..your head looks down and you can’t say anything..why are you making me miserable..why do you feel sorry for me?..stop now, leave after making me hate you foolish love left with wounds..bye bye..


i hoped that you would hold me a bit more, but it’s useless now..my stupid shadow is now left alone and wandering around on this dimmed street..i think i am still waiting for you..

i feel pity, you aren’t that bad..i feel pity, why do you end up with those kind of girls..i feel pity, what she gave you is a nightmare..i feel pity, for you, not your girl..

don’t lie baby, tell me ‘this isn’t it’..your head looks down and you can’t say anything..why are you making me miserable..why do you feel sorry for me?..stop now, leave after making me hate you foolish love left with wounds..bye bye..everything’s gonna be alright, right?


everything’s gonna be alright, right?

foolish person..


Big Bang - Foolish Love

flashback~

last nite i dreamed of a used-to-be-closed friend.. dia sangat la annoying dalam mimpi tu.. rase cam nak sekeh2 je..

mimpi pasal tgh wat projek sekolah.. huhu.. kena kaler2 landskap.. kena tampal2 cam collage ntuk bg efek lebey pada lanskaping tu.. ngarut sungguh mimpi2 aku neh..

patutkah aku miskol die.. juz sebagai tanda aku teringatkan dia?.. tapi malas la plak.. hehe ;p
ego kot.. ><"
xpe2.. tunggu nanti raya je la.. ley wish raya terus..

takde ape2 pon yang mentrigger untuk teringat dia.. adakah die rindu kat aku (hehe.. wishful thinking sungguh XD)..

"eh?..**** miskol~" (nama dirahsiakan atas sebab2 violating rahsia negara)

dlm hati, miskol je?.. :pastu letak enpon tepi, sambung keje:

"lama tak dengar nama tu", komen rumet..

adakah sebab miskol dari my old crush malam tadi yg menjadi trigger?.. sebab time rapat ngan die, i still had a big crush on the old crush.. nway, cerita lama.. let bygone be bygone~ ;)

p/s: rindunye kat keynah, hezreen, shi, anis, farah, marlyana.. dak2 omrum dulu.. dak2 len klas g kat bp.. hukkhukk.. ntah zaman bila la plak bley jumpe..

becoming

comparing myself now with myself a few years back, i kinda see i'm becoming someone that i, my self is unable to recognize..

"awak lain gile skang"

"saya pon pasan"

"dulu awak tak kuar malam, skang ni advance, salu kuar2, yang terkejutnye sampai ke penang.. care awk pon da len.. pastu skang awk da start flirt2 ngan ramai org "(mane de ramai org..siyes!)

erksss..

tapi sume tu mmg betul pon..

paling nampak after start je final year last sem, aku dengan giatnye asek kuar malam.. mapley la.. situ la.. sini la.. quite sudden when b4 intern, dlm beberapa taun itu hanya sekali dua.. to the extent that my rumet commented,

"awak tak kuar malam? time 1st year, 2nd year dulu betul la.. skang ni lagi ligat dari rumetnye"

ngaa.. the truth hurts..

another things i started to notice, day by day (haru haru~ XD), i've become more ignorant and jadi jenis yang semakin tak kesah (ni yang contribute tu flirty aspects tho only for specified frens ) .. not to mention, i've also sometimes tend to be more kejam and selfish..

does wutever i experienced during those time, turning me into who i am now? or am i just too tired (or lazy) to care anymore? or is this one way i'm becoming more rebellious?

on the positive side, i get to met and know new peoples.. do something new, perhaps things i never dare to do before.. altho i'm not an xtrovert, i rather enjoy being with peoples and having companies..

on the down side, i cant even decipher my own actions.. nowadays i reacted on reflexes rather than of consciousness.. sometimes i get scared myself because i cant see my own b0rderline of what is right or what is wrong .. my rationale now is somewhat unreliable now.. sometimes even my priorities got mixed up!


i' not saying i dont like who i am rite now, bcuz everything in life especially people, changes.. only the ALMIGHTY does not and will not change over time.. this is who i am rite now.. be it for better or for worse.. i just kind of miss my old self.. hehe~

thank you to frens that always reminded me to be more aware of what i'm doing, those that told me to try not to go out at nite often and not to stay out too late.. those that always reminded me of my parents and family..

thank you~~

once upon a dream..

all the craps and nonsenses is what separates a dream from reality ;p


when she was busy juggling to hold a few things from dropping in her hand, she suddenly realized she was left behind by the others.. the only one left is him, not far in front of her..

"haih..cane nak lintas nih.." as they came to a highway. In order to catch up with the others, they had to cross the highway. she meant it to say to herself, but somehow she said it too loud..

he look at her with blank face and somewhat irritated. It was the first time she saw that look ever crossed his face. truth to be told, previously, he had already take a few things that she had carried, but still she cant manage to carry the remainder properly (which probably initiate the irritation).

:sigh: she was never good in being organized after all.

then he held out his hand.. she look at his hand, stunned.. what is it?.. say something.. does he unwillingly volunteering to carry the stuff for her?.. after a while, he extend his hand more, pursuing any response from her.. suprisingly, she placed her hand into his.. she can feel the heat crept on her face.. she blushed furiously and dare not to look up.. (aaaa~..malunye!) .. he too, seem startled.. but almost immediately recover and tighten his hold on her hand.. and she ,still with head down and blushing face, was pulled by him swiftly, crossing the empty highway..

even after they reached the other side, he still held her hand.. they walked down the road.. one of her hand still in his, while the other holding her things close to herself.. over time, she manage to gather the courage to look at him and the first thing she said was..

"this is so not you"


She blinked her eyes as the light hit her face.. grabbing her phone, she opened her eyes.. 4pm.. gaaa.. her after-zohor-nap seems had turn to before-asar-nap.. still laying on her bed, she lay there, with no shrug on her face.. xde orang lain ke... :sigh:..

tapi kan.. orang kate kan.. kalo kite tak teringat pon kat orang tu, bile tidur, kite mimpi die.. sebab time tu die tgh ingat kat kite.. hehe.. wishful thinking.. haha..

malu~..tapi post gak blog.. huhu.. aaaa~.. xpe, xramai pon bace blog ni.. ngaa~

p/s: mimpi bukan sengaja.. tak di kira sebagai multi tasking! miss ur messages ;p