kengkadang..

You tell me you're in love with me
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But every time you come too close I move away


I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know


Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time


I don't wanna be so shy
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me


I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know


Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you righ
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time


Just hang around and you'll see
There's nowhere I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you


Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

-Britney Spears: Sometimes-

sebuah karutan di hari minggu

lately the topics talked about between me and my frens wil be directly or indirectly (which later will becoming the direct ) about marriage.. probably since my rummet is going to get married real soon, insyaallah ;) .. and probably soon will be followed by a few others of my close frens.. woo~

in contrast to my frens, i dont want to settle down at a young age as i am now..(muda kah aku?..haha).. well, one of us, always reminding 22 is not that young any more as time can flies really fast.. but still, for me, it's too early for me..

marriage is supposed to be a once in a life time experience (amiin~).. thus it should be well planned and prepared to be something real special and a super duper wonderful memory..rite?..

one major problems (for me) when considering marriage, is affordability..there are many sub-aspects on the matter.. money, mentality, responsibility and not to forget, .. (i forgot ;p..we'll get back to that later, k? )..

money is what makes the world get going.. without money, one cant live.. with lots of money, one get drifted away.. that's not the point here.. in marriage, money may be one of the essential things to make sure the marriage has a potential to survive.. love only, without the cash cant feed you..love only cant pay your bills.. i'm not materialistic but i'm just being realistic.. from the JAKIM statistics, we can see increase in number of divorce cases, which most of them related with financial problems.. set aside the after marriage case, nowadays even an engagement ceremony costs a lot of hard cash..-sigh-..

for almost every women, they dreamed of getting married.. and i am definitely included ^^ .. the excitement of getting married, wow~ .. the hantarans, the clothes ( una main point..hehe), the rings ( if the family follow closely to the malay tradition, you can get more rings.. one for merisik, one for engagement, one for akad nikah.. wo~.. anyway, i definitely gonna make sure one of them will be couple rings.. you gonna spend the rest of ur life with that person, why not share the same piece of jewelry to remind the both of u ;) .. and if he can afford diamond & platinum that'll be much better XD ) , and also the fun and headache in managing the walimatul urus..

see, with promotion, diamond & platinum is still affordable~

sometimes went window shopping, my mom and i will go browsing thru textile stores such as euromoda and gulati's (there's one in kajang) and see all the possible wedding dresses.. wow~.. i can really imagine how fun it is to shop for the pre-wedding and wedding dresses.. and if i really were to marry, i wanna buy them not just rent them.. after so many many years, looking back at your own wedding gown will definitely bring back sweet memories.. my mom still have her wedding gown folded neatly in the cabinet at home ^^..

getting married is really an excitement..but am i ready to live as a married person?.. dont think so.. haha.. excited je lebey..

and i havent found the one.. the one that i can imagine to and want to spend the rest of my life with.. i admit, i'm the hopeless romantic type.. where i want to be with some one that can sweep me off my feet.. someone that i can console to thru thick and thin, and him to me.. when considering my stone-cold heart, it is almost the same as waiting for sanosuke to fall from the sky XD..

in my eyes?

瞳の住人
Hitomi no Jyuunin
The One in Your Eyes


数えきれない。。。でも少しの歳月は流れ
Kazoekirenai… demo sukoshi no saigetsu wa nagare

いったい君の事をどれくらい分かってるのかな？
Ittai kimi no koto dorekurai wakatteru no kana?

指先で地図辿るようには上手く行かないね
Yubisaki de chizu tadoru you ni wa umaku ikanai ne

気づいているよ不安そうな顔　隠してるくらい
Kizuiteiru yo fuan souna kao kakushiteru kurai


急ぎ足の明日へと抵抗するように
Isogi ashi no ashita e to teikou suru youni
駆け回っていても不思議なくらい。。。この胸は君を描くよ
Kakemawatteite mo fushigi na kurai… kono mune wa kimi wo egaku yo

見上げれば輝きは色褪せず溢れていた
Miagereba kagayaki wa iroasezu afureteita
どんな時も照らしてるあの太陽のようになれたなら
Donna toki mo terashiteru ano taiyou no youni nareta nara

もう少しだけ君の匂いに。。。抱かれていたいな
Mou sukoshi dake kimi no nioi ni…dakareteitai na
外の空気に首輪を引かれ僕は背を向けた
Soto no kuuki ni kubiwa wo hikare boku wa se wo muketa


白く滲んだ溜め息に知らされる季節を
Shiroku nijinda tameiki ni shirasareru kisetsu wo
繰り返しながらふと思うさ。。。なぜ僕はここに居るんだろう？
Kurikaeshinagara futo omou sa… naze boku wa koko ni irun darou?


そばにいてずっと君の笑顔を見つめていたい
Soba ni ite zutto kimi no egao wo mitsumeteitai

移り行く瞬間をその瞳に住んでいたい
Utsuriyuku shunkan wo sono hitomi ni sunde itai

どこまでも穏やかな色彩に彩られた
Doko made mo odayakana shikisai ni irodorareta
一つの風景画の中寄り添うように時を止めて欲しい永遠に
Hitotsu no fuukeiga no naka yorisou ni toki wo tomete hoshii eien ni

そばにいてずっと君の笑顔を見つめていたい
Soba ni ite zutto kimi no egao wo mitsumeteitai
移り行く瞬間をその瞳に住んでいたい
Utsuriyuku shunkan wo sono hitomi ni sunde itai

いつの日か鮮やかな季節へと連れ出せたら
Itsu no hi ka azayakana kisetsu e to tsuredasetara

雪のように空に咲く花のもとへ。。。花のもとへ

Yuki no youni sora ni saku hana no moto e…hana no moto e

I don’t know how long, it’s incalculable, but it has been some time
How much do I really know about you?
Following the map with fingertips can’t get us anywhere
I notice the anxiety in your face, so much you try to conceal it

It’s strange, how I run about, as to resist the busy future…this heart still draws you

If I look up, the radiance is brimming over without fading its colour

If only we could be like the sun that shines forever

Just a little bit longer…I want to be embraced in your scent

The outside air pulls my collar, but I turns my back to it

My sighs blurring white in the air, it informs me of the season

Going over it again, a thought suddenly comes to me, what am I doing here?

I want to stay by your side, watching your smile forever
I want to live every changing moment in your eyes
Wherever, to be with you in that one scene coloured with gentle hues

I want to stop the time forever

I want to stay by your side, watching your smile forever

I want to live every changing moment in your eyes
If someday, I can take you out to the brilliant season

To the flowers blooming in the sky like snowflakes….to the flowers

"beautiful women can make men's heart waver..but in the end, if the loves that bind both of you is true and strong, it'll triumph"

that was a quote from a kmovie that i watched recently ( i cant remember the title, tho..).. the story main point is to tell how insecure normal and average females feel when suddenly a beautiful woman appear in their and their beloved lives.. to make things worse, the woman decided to stay in their love life..

in the movie, the boyfriend accidentally met up with a beautiful rising-to-fame actress.. under certain circumstances they had to work together and later on the actress openly admit to the boyfriend she loves him.. it was obvious from the start of their meeting, the boyfriend was stunned by the actress' beauty and gentleness and kindness and what ever her positive sides.. then came the gilfriend into the picture, realising the harshness of reality after seeing it with her own eyes..

"i dont want your sympathy.. dont stay with me for that.. i want to fight for it on my own!"

and finally she succeeded.. the boyfriend realized that he was afraid of losing her more than losing the actress.. and they got their happy ending and lived happily ever after.. (nama pon muvie~)

but in reality, how high are the chances the same ending will be chosen?.. (an ending after all is just an opening for another story~)..

beautiful people, be it males or females, have this advantages over other people.. to make others look at them..or even to make someone's heart waver.. if not, why would Johnny established all the JE groups?.. lol..


--the song got nothing to do with the movie.. i love the song.. it's beautiful too, in a way and sang by a beautiful guy (seriously, he's not handsome but beautiful!).. plus, i love his voice.. after all beautiful things are irresistable ;p --

merry go round~

lama gila da tinggal lagu2 laruku ( l`arc~en~ciel).. selepas aku start mendengar lagu2an BIG BANG, laruku di tinggal kan sepenuhnye.. hehe.. gomen haido~

kalo bukan kerana hari ahd tu aku marathon jdo 'hotaru no hikari' (best super duper..sgt2 klaka dan cumey~), aku takkan teruja nk kembali menjadi fan laruku.. mesti korg pelik, pe kaitan jdo tu ngan laruku.. huhu.. nope, they're not singing the ost.. muke hero die tu ada iras2 muke hyde.. especially time die senyum ;) ..cume hyde lagi tua 5 taun dari fujiki naohito (hero 'hotaru no hikari') and lagi kecik (hyde cume 1.56 cm je.. 1st time aku minat laki tak berapa tinggi..huhu) ..


for me, hyde has a great voice.. tambah plak ngan muzik laruku.. sgt suke suara die~ (da start balik da..haha XD) ..mendayu seyh sore die tambah2 kalo nyanyi lagu2 slow.. da x dgr lagu len da la pas ni.. dari muda sampai tua, suara die still best.. cume tak suke suare die time solo project die especially FAITH.. time tu suara die cam kasar sgt..byk sgt merokok kot..seb bek bila recording ntuk single laruku (kalo x salah my heart draws a dream) suara die ok da.. suara asal yg best~...terpikat balik ^^

one of the contribution untuk kurang meminati big bang : dorg suke released lagu2 lame yg di remix atau yg di buat version len.. i dont blame this on big bang, bcuz i really like them and their performances.. i think it's YG that should be blame!..

goodbye BIG BANG..




welcome back L`ARC~EN~CIEL!!~

....

.....

falling..

"if i fall, will u fall with me?" --> status ym nih..

"i will"

It makes me happy that he answered that.. he was one of the guy that i respected ever since we started our friendship.. and he isn't the type that would say something just to soothe me.. it made me happy he meant what he said..(or i hope so ;p)

thank you.. thank you for being my friend.. thank you for your answer..

sometimes, i wonder.. if i actually fell (metaphorically or literally), would there actually someone that is willing to be pull down together with me.. just letting things to fall in places and let yourself falling together..

what the hell i'm rambling about?.. haha.. must have been the hormones ><" (asek2 salahkan hormon.. haih~)

i really want to try bungee jumping.. to let yourself fall from high places.. to have the wind hit your face.. to experience a new kind of adventure.. to be able to feel the fear, the nervousness , the adrenaline pumping, the excitement, the relief (if the rope don't pop on you ;p).. can i really have the guts and not back off at the last minute?

i tend to do the same thing in relationships.. especially to those i'm new with.. i let things falls and eventually (and unfortunately) the rope breaks..-sigh- .. and it's all become too late.. - double sigh- .. at times i hardly think about others' feelings and went a little bit harsh.. sometimes it was because i become irritated for people that barely know me and talk as if they know me inside out.. for example

"saya suka awak sebab awak lembut "

you better think twice or more before saying that.. i doubt you will say that if you had seen me at home.. with my loud voice and not-so-polite manner, i am so so so far far away from that.. not to mention my feisty-ness..

and that's why it's kinda fun being friends with people that i need not to be polite with.. those i dont need to impressed.. whom i can say my thoughts out loud.. whom that are able to see my crazy side.. but i have to admit, i am not being able to do that with just anyone.. even not some of my closest friends.. and lately, i seem to not able to do that much anymore.. damn conciousness!

maybe this will be off-topic, recently i met some one that i'm attracted to.. i was very happy that the feeling was mutual for him.. heck, i was very delighted when he contacted me (as i said, i'm attracted to him, if not i wont bother to text him back ..and notes to all my frens : sometimes when i'm not replying ur messages, please dont misunderstood negatively, ok?.. especially at home..bcuz i'm only with my mobile at night..sorry for any inconvenience~).. i really am happy, eventho i dont admit it to his face.. but maybe pride and ego got in the way.. or maybe i was afraid.. it doesnt end well for me the last time.. and he seems to be on a fast ride.. while i like things to fall in places on their own.. and somehow,someway, i may pushed him too far.. well, he might have been overboard at that time too..so the both of us is at blame!.. anyway, i'm sorry.. i tried my way to make amends by pushing aside my pride.. but to no avail.. so, lastly from me.. thank you.. thank you for the short time we know each other.. thank you for saying that you liked me ( i'm actually allergic to that, thus resulting the unnecessary responds ;p.. dont ask me why).. i kinda hope we can still be friends altho, i dont think u'll feel the same.. wishing you all the best for your final semester! ^^

(macam dediket last paragraph ni kat die plak ><" )

scandalous

i'm grateful i came from a background where i can catch the glimpse of the light and the darkness.. being there i can see both of the worlds.. gaining experiences from what is not mine originally and hoping some of it will never become of my own..

there was one secret or rather secrets that had reach me.. quite scandalous, for me.. surprisingly, it does not suprise me.. am i being less sensitive about those kinda things.. or could i have expected that ( jahat sungguh aku)..

somehow i'm grateful being born in this kind of life.. where i am able to see a peek preview of what the real life should be.. where i can feel tempias ( i look at the mr dict and found the word 'scatter', 'splash'? etc, but i just cant feel they are the right word..huhu) of how painful or how beautiful my life could be.. and life really do have its ups and downs, not considering the exam's result.. to have a headache thinking solutions to resolve the 'downs'.. being a person that usually take things for granted and very easy going or just typically too lazy too care (some mistook it for positive thinking.. you are deceived, how can you not see that!) , thinking means it's very very very serious matters.. and to realize that even we live under we roof, all of us may living a totally different lives.. and that's b4 graduation..after graduation (wish me all da best~), how far will all of us be apart, how big will our lives differences become? ..

things that can make you happy dont need to be something big, interesting and expensive ( sum1 promised me to give a birthday present that is big, interesting and expensive and i'm still waiting for it..::wink:: whoever you are out there, you owe me a very expensive one for late charges! ).. things that always make me smile will always be my cats especially a little one that i love to pamper a lot (which is not little anymore..but i still love him!).. running at me every morning, hearing he purred "uwwooooww", climbing my legs, causing a ruckus over dinner .. i missed him alredy, eventho it's only been almost 2 days.. i missed him a lot :'( .. and also the others but i missed him the most.. i really2 wanna hug him now.. and belae too.. and jijie .. and chichie.. and teh.. and tompok@suzi.. and chuchai.. and chomot.. and pipih.. and the 3 kittens and ibu..

my new sweetheart..aww, i miss u!

the kittens..