Ahad, 31 Januari 2010

rain pt 3.2

it's raining yet again..maybe not outside, but here, it's raining..i can feel the rain drops fell hard on my face..heard the spattering sound upon the floor..but why is it i can see none?

"stay, be with me, here"

i really loved to, wanted to, more than he knows but..

"i can't"

"then, i'll go to you"

my eyes open wide with excitement, happiness, hopes perhaps.. this should be a good sign, right?.. honestly?..seriously?

before both of us able to say anything more, an ankle-height wave hit both of us, wetting his trousers and shoes.. hurriedly he ran to the shore with me laughing tailing him behind, ending a conversation yet to begin.. i wished the wave never came..

i looooooooooooove beaches, but i hate the sea.. i had told him that for more than a million time .. but still, every time he'll chuckle at the comment.. okay, maybe i did not hate sea that much, but i'm scared of water..really, really really scared of water..

as much as i'm scared on how to imagine the absence of him..

never before i ever felt him so mad to me but with a little (maybe a tiny) hint of desperation..
it scared me but somehow thru that at least i can maybe, just maybe able to see how he felt towards me..

"now, tell me.. you told me you have something to TELL ME!"

the rain starts to pour violently.. making the sea lose its tameness.. waves getting angrier as if its conveying his anger..but still, vividly, i can see the sunset by the beach that we shared.. the spectacular view as if it was naturally photoshop-ed.. with me walking in my barefoot on the wooden planks of the viewing place as he throwed his gaze at the stunning sight..

once upon a long time ago, he once told me, all of these, whatever we had done, were investments.. it never was for me, i'm wondering whether if now he felt his investments were to no use..

once upon a long time ago, i was an innocence and hopeless romantic person, believing that there's someone outside there where you will belong with and perhaps have been waiting for that one person.. he never believed that and now i follow suit..

i had never doubted his feelings or his trust.. it just that maybe both of us are two different people with opposite perceptions.. the longer we were together, the more both of us realized how large our differences compared to what we have to share..

looking at his empty side of the bed, it made me feel bitter.. asking him to be here will be too selfish.. yet, i still asked, just to be here and nothing else.. and still..

if i can just sleep and never wakes up again.. maybe then, everything will be all right..please, sleep, take me, pull me into a deep slumber where i can't feel a thing..



i forgot to switch off my alarm clock..::sigh::

a note by my pillow catches my sight, a smile spread on my face..

"i still love you.."

perhaps the rain will stop and bright sunshine days are waiting ahead..

arghhh..lame x tulis bende ngarut2 cam ni.. grammar yg sgt teruk.. campur plak kebuntuan idea..adehh..

why 3.2? sbb ada lagi satu part 3 yg x abes2 tulis tp syg nk delete..haha~XD