of me and my selfishness : sleep

if only i can sleep and never wake up..
then all this pain is nowhere to be felt..
if only i can sleep for a thousand years..
without dying in the dreamless sleep..
if i were given choices..
death will never be an option..
i don't have the guts to face the other world..
when i'm still a person with faults..
when responsibilities are still on my shoulders..
when my tears are still dripping..
when i havent fulfill their dreams..
when i know i can't leave her, not yet..
all i ask, is just a long sleep..
let me sleep..
Dear Allah..
forgive me..
it's not i'm giving up..
i don't want to give up..
but it's tiring me up..
i just want to run away..
from all these..
from those that made her cry..
from those that made me cry..
from all that hurting..
if i can sleep a thousand years..
if only i can sleep till everythings ok..
till things fall to where they should be..
where i hope they will be..
till then..
all i wish is an everlasting slumber..
so i can't feel anything..
so i can believe everything has go away..

of frens, crushes and memories: crazy mode!

this will be the first entry of the of frens, crushes and memories series..so watch out for more! ^^

topik kite pade hari ini adalah crazy mode! ..hehe..

today i got a major headache not to mention nauseous -->> sumthing wrong blood pressure aku lg kah?..maybe that's what trigger the mode.. hehe .. catch a quick nap that last about 2 hours.. and thxfully the headache cease..tapi lapar la plak.. super duper sampai sakit perut (xkan sakit kaki kot..sakit kaki gak sebnarnye..tapi tu xde kaitan ngan lapa la..that's another story not meant to be told)

bgn tdo..mandi2..wat ape yg patut..mn roti..seblum tdo pun da mkn roti da sbnarnye..da la mkn ngan coklat spread ( fat..fat..go away..please don't stay)..pastu da nak g meeting plak..adess..lapa yg sgt kronik.. dan sakit perut yg sangat..rase cam asid da attack da dinding perut ..maka mkin mnipis la perut aku..kalo buang lemak xpe gak..huu ><;

selepas puas aku bising2 kat member2 aku..gaknye dorg da borink kot..so dgn secare sengajanye aku mghantar msej kpd sume (well, almost sume) nombor dlm hp ku..haha.. those that know me from my skul yrs probably mmg da tau under distraught mind, aku ni gila sket.. tp siyes, pastu da xlapa sgt da..hehe..

n wut make happy the most, adelah replied mesej dr membe2 yg sanggup mlayan aku yg xberapa betul..haha..siap bg komen2 lak tuh..haha..antara komen yg wat aku gelak besar

"diet ke?..udah la tu faizah..da la awk kurus..kang jadi lidi plak"

cesss3x..knyataan yg kejam dr vignes.. we haven't seen each others for 6 yrs or more..i'm not that thin!..seriously..

"(tolong jgn abaikn msg ini..kerana ni d anta pd satu siri no sahaja"

in reply to my message yg suh abaikn msj aku send tuh..iza, vignes, i'm seriously truly deeply in luv with u guys..hehe~

these kind of things ..be it crazy or not.. for me.. it's kinda fun.. mdapat reaksi dr member2 yg lame xkontek (walopon ade je yg umah sorg2 dekat2 je..hehe).. rindu nye kat mase dulu..zaman mude remaja yg hepi dan gile .. (note: zaman gile hanya privileges ntuk mereka yg terpiley..haha)

arks..the headache coming back..grrrr..(ponstan x bwk..adess)
kite sambung len kali la ek..
jaa~