becoming

comparing myself now with myself a few years back, i kinda see i'm becoming someone that i, my self is unable to recognize..

"awak lain gile skang"

"saya pon pasan"

"dulu awak tak kuar malam, skang ni advance, salu kuar2, yang terkejutnye sampai ke penang.. care awk pon da len.. pastu skang awk da start flirt2 ngan ramai org "(mane de ramai org..siyes!)

erksss..

tapi sume tu mmg betul pon..

paling nampak after start je final year last sem, aku dengan giatnye asek kuar malam.. mapley la.. situ la.. sini la.. quite sudden when b4 intern, dlm beberapa taun itu hanya sekali dua.. to the extent that my rumet commented,

"awak tak kuar malam? time 1st year, 2nd year dulu betul la.. skang ni lagi ligat dari rumetnye"

ngaa.. the truth hurts..

another things i started to notice, day by day (haru haru~ XD), i've become more ignorant and jadi jenis yang semakin tak kesah (ni yang contribute tu flirty aspects tho only for specified frens ) .. not to mention, i've also sometimes tend to be more kejam and selfish..

does wutever i experienced during those time, turning me into who i am now? or am i just too tired (or lazy) to care anymore? or is this one way i'm becoming more rebellious?

on the positive side, i get to met and know new peoples.. do something new, perhaps things i never dare to do before.. altho i'm not an xtrovert, i rather enjoy being with peoples and having companies..

on the down side, i cant even decipher my own actions.. nowadays i reacted on reflexes rather than of consciousness.. sometimes i get scared myself because i cant see my own b0rderline of what is right or what is wrong .. my rationale now is somewhat unreliable now.. sometimes even my priorities got mixed up!


i' not saying i dont like who i am rite now, bcuz everything in life especially people, changes.. only the ALMIGHTY does not and will not change over time.. this is who i am rite now.. be it for better or for worse.. i just kind of miss my old self.. hehe~

thank you to frens that always reminded me to be more aware of what i'm doing, those that told me to try not to go out at nite often and not to stay out too late.. those that always reminded me of my parents and family..

thank you~~