qool~

my 2nd time to singapore was for standing in for my team lead who cant make it..
in a way, it's a good advantages for me ;)..
tapi still penat dr flight tgh hari tadi..
huu..

the most interesting about this trip is the hotel..
sgt suka hotel ni..
beshh dan menarikkkk~

Quincy
22 Mount Elizabeth
Singapore 228517
Tel: (65) 6738 5888
Fax: (65) 6510 1938
info@quincy.com.sg

yang menggoda pasal hotel ini adalah bilik hotelnya..
the price is Singapore Dollar 258++ inclusive of complimentary breakfast, lunch, coctail, dinner, and minibar in the room.
Oh ya, complimentary pick-up from hotel with Mercedes E Class juga..
isnt that tempting?
(xbeshnye sbb mknn dia xcertified halal..ley mkn roti ngan buah je la..aiseyyy~)

tingkap dia ada switch blind yg buley diturunkan di kala malam atau maw bersexyan di bilik..

biliknye king studio, sebelah katil tu adalah shower dan toilet yg see-thru.. ehemmm! inilah kegunaan blind..lol..

open pool at 12th floor..nice~
(pic taken from: http://www.quincy.com.sg/home/index.aspx?page=photo-gallery)

author caught red-handed.. XD

did i mention wifi pon FOC?
^^

besh pergi kalo nak berhoneymoon~~

note: found Samsung YP-P3 16G idaman hati cuma Singapore Dollar 299 = approx. RM750 je.. aisey..tergoda sungguh..
-_________-""

sorry maam, we are not certifed halal..

it's been a very long loong looong loooong looooog loooooong looooooong loooooooong loooooooong looooooooong time since i wrote a decent entry..

I hope this one will at least pass as a decent entry..huhu~

Oct 21, 2359

Arrived at Grand Copthorne Waterfront..

Ini gambar time siang..harap maklum..

Dengan penuh kepenatan dan kengantukan, mamai2 pergi check-in..
Luas balik mata (sekejap) bila receptionist tu ckp, "since all our deluxe room fullhouse, we had upgraded you to executive room. Enjoy your stay here and good rest, miss.."

dragging my excessive luggage for a 2 day trip with me ( i always tend to overpack..ngaa~), in a few minutes and unknown seconds, i had reached the doorstep of my room..

sedikit screencaps bilik:


dan lagi..



and lastly,


boleh plak tengah2 amek gambar tu, terkunci pintu bedroom plak..adoi la.. sampai kena panggil room service..haha..macam2 sungguh.. hidup ini mmg ada macam2 bende yang tak terjangka..

terjumpa ada satu benda yang menarik di dalam wardrobe.. benda yang mungkin menjadi sama ada kawan baik anda atau musuh yang di benci anda.. apekah dia?..

alat timbang badan!

in my case, kawan baik sbb timbang tu ala2 weng2.. timbag2, berat 34 kg je.. isk2.. penipuan yang amat!

Oct 22, nite time

after the course, i fell asleep.. sedar2 da nak pukul 7.. aiyark..oleh kerana itu, memulakan penerokaan selepas maghrib..

tempat pertama yang dituju: Esplanade

tempat ni dicadangkan oleh salah seorg yang join course sekali di siang hari nya.. Oleh kerana ini kali pertama aku di bumi asing nih dan ke-solo-an, mengapa tidak?.. Dari penerangan dia, dari Esplanade ni akan berjumpa Citylink Mall yang akan menghubungkan ke beberapa shopping complex seperti Suntec Mall, Marina Square ngan Raffles Square (?)

dengan menaiki taxi, tambang sampai ke sana lebey sket dari 10 dollar.. sungguh la bermacam charge tambahan, peak hour charge la, city charge, SGT charge la..isk...

sampai sudah..

the big durian..

inside the durian..

rehearsal for a Dains -"Asian Traditional Dance" expected to be performed at Esplanade Theatre

view walking down the river..

the famous Merlion..

the plate says it all..

perjalanan diteruskan menjelajah Marina Square dan ada lagi satu mall depan dia, tapi kerana agak lewat sampai, sume kedai da nak tutup la plak..

selepas penat berjalan2, berpusing, di kala terasa nak balik hotel, baru tersedar, kat mana ni? aiyark.. bagaimana kah nak balik?

hentam saja la labu..

dalam hidup ini kita mesti berani menghadapi jalan2 yang tidak pasti, biarpun terblurr sekejap, asalkan akhirnya kita jumpa jua apa yang di cari.. kan2?

dan oleh itu, terjumpa la Suntec Convection Centre dan bila jalan je ikut arus orang da signboard akhirnya jumpa CityLink mall yang terconnect pada esplanade.. fuhh.. jumpa gak akhirnya jalan nak balik..

yeay!!

Oct 23, nite time again

Bukan lah diri ini ingin menjadi burung hantu atau batman bila sudah dua hari berturut2 keluar di kala malam.. cuma di siang hari kan ada course.. hari keesokannya kita akan berjalan di bawah sinar matahari, ok?

ada suatu tempat di bumi asing ni kononnya kalau pelawat berkunjung tapi tidak singgah disini, maka tidak sah la kunjungan ke bumi ini.. Ini lah tempat yang dikunjungi malam ini..

Dengan menggunakan bas shuttle yang disediakan, perjalanan malam ini ke Orchard Road bukan saja free of charge tapi juga sesat-free..

Sepatutnya malam sebelum tu check dulu ngan concierge pasal bas shuttle free nih, save sket budget... isk2.. sesal dulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian xpat den nak nolong..

Orchard road ini adalah dereten shopping complex sepanjang 2.5 km (fact source: tourist guide dalam bas tu)..sungguh la meriah dengan penuh orang ramai berpusu2 membeli-belah.. kebanyakan barang2 di sana lebih ke arah high-end dimana mmg di luar kemampuan diri ini.. tambahan barang2 di sana lebih kurang sama macam di KL je, bila kira2 harga lepas convert balik ke RM, terasa lebey untung balik beli kat Malaysia je..haha.. pergi ke sana sekadar merasa kemeriahan dan melihat2 tempat orang..






Oct 24, day time (finally)


selepas check-out, perjalanan hari ini bermula di stesen bas..

aunty gift shop kat hotel semalam ada mencadangkan hari ni pergi ke the Great City Mall je..
hanya perlu berjalan bebrapa blok dah sampai..
Tapi alang2 sudah sampai ke sini, hendak juga melihat kawasan di mana ramai komuniti Melayu..

Plan asalnya hendak mengukur Arab Street dahulu kemudian di ikuti tinjauan ke Geylang Road..
Tapi kerana kearifan menaiki bas, sampai terlajak stesen..Mujur terserempak sepasang pasangan suami isteri Melayu yang menunjukkan and memberi sedikit penerangan pasal Geylang Road.. Terima kasih~.. kalo tidak, entah sampai ke Jurong pon tak tahu..huhu..

Pasar Geylang Serai

the food court seems nice.. nvr been glad to see so much halal and familiar food..huhu.. tapi ramai sungguh, xde tempat nak duduk..

Pasar Geylang Serai reminded me of Pasar Besar Kelantan with the pasar basah down stair with foodcourt and stalls selling cloth up stair.. Of course, Pasar Geylang is much much cleaner than the pasars in Malaysia..


Joo Chiat Complex also kind of give me the same feeling with Kompleks Kota Kubu in Kelantan...

layout kat dalam pon cam sama je ngan Kompleks Kota Kubu..

The one that made day was definitely a pair of mom and her baby..

Tatkala di tegur, terus si ibu datang.. terpana sebentar kerana tidak tahu apa yang harus di beri pada ibu yang kelaparan.. Meminta si ibu menunggu terus sebentar, kaki ini dengan pantas pegi ke supermarket yang kalau tidak silap ada berdekatan untuk membeli makanan kepada dua beranak itu..

Tersenyum sendiri apabila melihat si ibu masih setia menanti..


Cumel!~

gendang gendut tali kecapi, kenyang perut senang hati and main kaki seluar~

Perjalanan harus diteruskan..Selamat tinggal sayang.. Semoga si kecil akan membesar dengan aktif dan sihat bersama ibunya.. Semoga makanan dan perlindungan tidak putus3 buat si ibu dan si kecil..

Next stop: Arab Street

For me, there is nothing much at Arab Street.. It kind of remind me of Jalan TAR or Jalan Masjid India, but less meriah..


My feet already aching but I still have a few hours before my planned time to go to the airport.. Watpe nak gi airport awal2, busan xtaw nak wat pe..baik berjalan2 dahulu..tul x?

Let's check-out the Great City Mall..

Tapi cerita seterusnya kita sambung lain kali la ek..
Insyallah..
Hari da malam..
Esok nak keje, terpaksa berundur diri dulu..

gong xi fa chai!~

kepada semua yang menyambut tahun baru cina, SELAMAT TAHUN BARU CINA~!

for me, benda yang paling best adalah lambakan buah2 limau mandarin dan tangerine.. tapi diri ini selalu terkonpius antara dua tu.. adakah mandarin ngan tangerine tu sama atau berbeza.. for me, yang besar panggil mandarin, yang kecik panggil tangerine ..

from the wiki:

The Mandarin orange or mandarin (or mandarine) is a small citrus tree (Citrus reticulata) with fruit resembling the orange. The fruit is oblate, rather than spherical. Mandarin oranges are usually eaten plain, or in fruit salads. Specifically reddish orange mandarin cultivars can be marketed as tangerines, but this is not a botanical classification.

The tangerine (Citrus × tangerina) is an orange- or red-coloured citrus fruit. It is a variety of the Mandarin orange (Citrus reticulata). Tangerines are smaller than most oranges, and the skin of some varieties will peel off more easily. The taste is often less sour, or tart, than that of an orange.

maka, betul kah persepsi itu?..ntah ler.. xtaw la..janji sodap~



kebetulan pula tadi, on the way nak membeli-belah perkakas nak wat spageti (atas request syukri), terserempak ngan sekumpulan singa menari2 dekat depan salah sebuah rumah di depan simpang nk keluar sg jelok, penuh kereta parking kiri kanan duk tgk.. huu~..best2..lame da tak tengok, ok la walaupun dpt tgk dlm masa 30 saat je..

gambar adalah hiasan semata, hasil dr pen-google-an..

inilah bestnye hidup dlm negara yg kaya ngan pelbagai bangsa..bley melihat dan belajar culture bangsa2 lain.. boleh merasa serba-serbi pelbagai jenis makanan.. dan yang paling best, byk public holidays~


kepada semua yang bercuti seminggu atau penanam anggur berjaya , njoy ur holiday~...

now, let's listen to a sad song and a cute song..


<<-- stokin die cumey~ hehe..



<--/me hanya kenal yoona ngan taeyeon je..

rain pt 1

it was raining when i met her for the first time..

she was standing there, clutching her red umbrella as if her life depends on it.. whilst, I was drench from top to toe, awed by her.. even in the busy crowd, packed with people of all kinds, she was distinguishable and able to stand up from the others.. with her bright eyes sparkling, with her raven hair flowing freely with the rhythm of the wind, with her proud and elegant face.. i was unable to not notice how all the males turn their head to look at her even for a short moment.. and there she was, smiling so sweetly toward my direction.. at me?

i was never a person that believed in love at first sight.. it was something i always detest as it was driven by the physical and most probably initiated by lust.. something that seem impossible to happen for an all average person like me.. but that was before i met her.. my heart beat twice faster when i saw her looking at me.. i blushed a deeper shade of red as she came nearer to me.. when she spoke, the world became silent and her voice was the only thing to hear.. when she laughed, i can felt my spirit lifted up with a wide grin plastered all over my face.. if this was not love, what was it?

home - final part

She sat there. Their song was playing in the radio. Without knowing, her tears fall.

For how long more should she waited? Should she wait till she’s tired, because she already was, for a long time? Then why was she still there, sitting in the balcony, crying her heart out just because of a song?

When she saw the bouquet of red roses on their doorstep, somehow her heart fluttered. Her long day felt like as if it was just started.

‘He never gives you flowers. Why did you expect they were from him? How can you expect they were for you?’

For once in her life, she wished he forgot how she hated roses. She wished the flowers were from him. She wished they were meant for her.

There were times she really wanted to throw away her phone down through the windows. Let the phone break to million pieces. Let it be gone together with her hopes. What use of a phone when there were never any incoming calls from him.

“Missy, I missed you”

That was the sole reason she kept the phone. That was the last thing she had of him. His hoarse voice calling from whenever-on-earth he was. It was recorded two years ago. She laughed bitterly of how silly she was, making copies of the recording as much as she can. One in her personal computer at home, one in her pen drive and even one in her office’s computer. She had somehow lost him; she can’t afford to lose this last fragment of him that she can hold to. What if she forgotten how he looks like, how he sounds like. How can she go back to their home then?

____________________________________________________________________

She inhaled deeply. She put the hand phone in the box together with their pictures, their albums, their memories and perhaps her heart. She cried once again when she sealed the box. She promised herself this will be the last time. She promised herself she will never cry again for him, for them. And much to her dismay, her tears seem can not be stopped.

Her eyes explored the house once more as he grabbed her luggage.

‘This will no longer be my home, not had been ours for years’

When her hand turn off the lights and closed the door, she wondered if she should have done this years ago.

‘Goodbye’

_____________________________________________________________________

“I’m sorry, sir. She had been transferred to overseas. Is there anything I can help?”

“Perhaps you can give us her contact number there? We’ve been looking for her for years”

Her mother looked at the gentlemen curiously.

“It’s about her husband. There was an accident”

Silence

“He managed to secure her financial fund if something may happen to him”

_____________________________________________________________________

In a dark house, sit a box in the end of a corner. Perhaps it was the wind. Perhaps it was a voice mail she never noticed to hear. Perhaps it was a voice mail that was delivered years too late.

“Missy, I’m going home today! Can’t wait to see you. This time I’m staying home with you. No more long travels, I promised! I love you~”

in my eyes?

瞳の住人
Hitomi no Jyuunin
The One in Your Eyes


数えきれない。。。でも少しの歳月は流れ
Kazoekirenai… demo sukoshi no saigetsu wa nagare

いったい君の事をどれくらい分かってるのかな？
Ittai kimi no koto dorekurai wakatteru no kana?

指先で地図辿るようには上手く行かないね
Yubisaki de chizu tadoru you ni wa umaku ikanai ne

気づいているよ不安そうな顔　隠してるくらい
Kizuiteiru yo fuan souna kao kakushiteru kurai


急ぎ足の明日へと抵抗するように
Isogi ashi no ashita e to teikou suru youni
駆け回っていても不思議なくらい。。。この胸は君を描くよ
Kakemawatteite mo fushigi na kurai… kono mune wa kimi wo egaku yo

見上げれば輝きは色褪せず溢れていた
Miagereba kagayaki wa iroasezu afureteita
どんな時も照らしてるあの太陽のようになれたなら
Donna toki mo terashiteru ano taiyou no youni nareta nara

もう少しだけ君の匂いに。。。抱かれていたいな
Mou sukoshi dake kimi no nioi ni…dakareteitai na
外の空気に首輪を引かれ僕は背を向けた
Soto no kuuki ni kubiwa wo hikare boku wa se wo muketa


白く滲んだ溜め息に知らされる季節を
Shiroku nijinda tameiki ni shirasareru kisetsu wo
繰り返しながらふと思うさ。。。なぜ僕はここに居るんだろう？
Kurikaeshinagara futo omou sa… naze boku wa koko ni irun darou?


そばにいてずっと君の笑顔を見つめていたい
Soba ni ite zutto kimi no egao wo mitsumeteitai

移り行く瞬間をその瞳に住んでいたい
Utsuriyuku shunkan wo sono hitomi ni sunde itai

どこまでも穏やかな色彩に彩られた
Doko made mo odayakana shikisai ni irodorareta
一つの風景画の中寄り添うように時を止めて欲しい永遠に
Hitotsu no fuukeiga no naka yorisou ni toki wo tomete hoshii eien ni

そばにいてずっと君の笑顔を見つめていたい
Soba ni ite zutto kimi no egao wo mitsumeteitai
移り行く瞬間をその瞳に住んでいたい
Utsuriyuku shunkan wo sono hitomi ni sunde itai

いつの日か鮮やかな季節へと連れ出せたら
Itsu no hi ka azayakana kisetsu e to tsuredasetara

雪のように空に咲く花のもとへ。。。花のもとへ

Yuki no youni sora ni saku hana no moto e…hana no moto e

I don’t know how long, it’s incalculable, but it has been some time
How much do I really know about you?
Following the map with fingertips can’t get us anywhere
I notice the anxiety in your face, so much you try to conceal it

It’s strange, how I run about, as to resist the busy future…this heart still draws you

If I look up, the radiance is brimming over without fading its colour

If only we could be like the sun that shines forever

Just a little bit longer…I want to be embraced in your scent

The outside air pulls my collar, but I turns my back to it

My sighs blurring white in the air, it informs me of the season

Going over it again, a thought suddenly comes to me, what am I doing here?

I want to stay by your side, watching your smile forever
I want to live every changing moment in your eyes
Wherever, to be with you in that one scene coloured with gentle hues

I want to stop the time forever

I want to stay by your side, watching your smile forever

I want to live every changing moment in your eyes
If someday, I can take you out to the brilliant season

To the flowers blooming in the sky like snowflakes….to the flowers

"beautiful women can make men's heart waver..but in the end, if the loves that bind both of you is true and strong, it'll triumph"

that was a quote from a kmovie that i watched recently ( i cant remember the title, tho..).. the story main point is to tell how insecure normal and average females feel when suddenly a beautiful woman appear in their and their beloved lives.. to make things worse, the woman decided to stay in their love life..

in the movie, the boyfriend accidentally met up with a beautiful rising-to-fame actress.. under certain circumstances they had to work together and later on the actress openly admit to the boyfriend she loves him.. it was obvious from the start of their meeting, the boyfriend was stunned by the actress' beauty and gentleness and kindness and what ever her positive sides.. then came the gilfriend into the picture, realising the harshness of reality after seeing it with her own eyes..

"i dont want your sympathy.. dont stay with me for that.. i want to fight for it on my own!"

and finally she succeeded.. the boyfriend realized that he was afraid of losing her more than losing the actress.. and they got their happy ending and lived happily ever after.. (nama pon muvie~)

but in reality, how high are the chances the same ending will be chosen?.. (an ending after all is just an opening for another story~)..

beautiful people, be it males or females, have this advantages over other people.. to make others look at them..or even to make someone's heart waver.. if not, why would Johnny established all the JE groups?.. lol..


--the song got nothing to do with the movie.. i love the song.. it's beautiful too, in a way and sang by a beautiful guy (seriously, he's not handsome but beautiful!).. plus, i love his voice.. after all beautiful things are irresistable ;p --

post-exam mode~

habes da exam pada hari jumaat ri tu~..dah la masuk xm tanpa betul2 study..alhamdullilah ley jawab, tapi betul salah tak tau la..huu~

supposely there is another post, tapi tak abes tulis lagi..so i'll post that later.. XD

skang ni kena pulun ntuk siapkn pdp lak..haih~..da xde mood da ni..nak balik~
ganbarre faizah!..yosh!.. rasa bersalah gak sebenarnya dalam projek nih..sbb aku macam ahli hantu je..aaaa..cane nk kikis rase malas nih..mayb sebab aku ni jenis yang amek mudah segala hal kot..malas nak pk..haih~

semenjak dua menjak nih, aku da tinggalkn laruku sepenuhnye (bubye hyde~)..skang ni sgt minat BIG BANG! (beralih arah pada yang muda plak..hehe) ...xley nk lyn lagu len da..xcept for rie fu's 1st album..rasenye dari 2nd yr lagi setiap kali xm aku akan layan lagu2 rie fu..dan memang time exam je la..sebab lagu die sedap didengar..lembut je~..back to the main point, suka BIG BANG!.hehe... suke tgk dorg nari~.. suke lagu2 dorg.. ade yg bese2..ade yg best.. from my pov, sore yg plg best dlm big bang adalah dae sung.. walopon yang pemes dlm grup tuh most likely to be gd, T.O.P ngan tae yang.. sian seung ri ngan dae sung..huu~

here goes one of my fav bing bang's song.. dae sung's solo, uso bonda (trans: try smiling)

onurdo uso bonda
gureya niga usurthenika
gu sarami jakuman nor ullinika
otohgedun nor uge mandurgo shipho

I try smiling/laughing again today eum..
this way, you’ll smile/laugh
because that guy keeps making you cry
whatever it takes i want to make you smile/laugh

honja sarang hanunge nege
gyodirsu obsur mankhum himduro
hajiman no unungon
jogiboda do shirhunika
norur wiheso onurdo nanun ununda

to me, loving you alone
is so painful I can barely put up with it
but i’d rather die then to see you cry
for You, I try smiling/laughing again today

saranghe nor sarang hanika
noman issumyon hengbog hanika
gasumun aphado to usobonda~
usumur junun saram chorom
surphun obnun saram chorom~
onurdo ni dwieso (ni dwieso)
sori obshi to uro bonda..

i love you since i love you
since im happy as long as your here
even though my heart aches i try smiling/laughing again
like someone who makes people smile/laugh
like someone who has no pain
I quietly cry behind you again today

gasumi joryo onda~
noui surphun pyojong hani yedo
gu sarami cham mibda
ni sarangur da gajyonunde
mwoga mojara nor irohge ullinunji

my hearts becoming numb
at your slightest sadness
i hate that guy so much
he has all of your love
yet he still makes you cry, what more does he need

saranghe nor sarang hanika
noman issumyon hengbog hanika
gasumun aphado to usobonda~
usumur junun saram chorom
surphun obnun saram chorom~
onurdo ni dwieso (ni dwieso)
sori obshi to uro bonda..

i love you since i love you
since im happy as long as your here
even though my heart aches i try smiling/laughing again
like someone who makes people smile/laugh
like someone who has no pain
I quietly cry behind you again today

shwirse obshi nunmuri chaorugo
dashi ogjiro to samkyo ne bonda..
jugur mankhum himdurodo
michirgod mankhum aphado
ununda~~

the endless tears keep filling up
i once again try to forcefully hide it
even though it hurts so bad as if im gonna die
even though this pain is driving me crazy
i smile/laugh

(nega do nor sarang hanika)
(ne jashin boda nor akinika)
du nunun urodo to chama nenda~
ne maum hana modurodo
ne sarang boji mothedo
onurdo ni apheso (ni apheso)
dashi hanbon to uso bonda

(because i love you more
because i care for you more then myself)
even if my eyes begin to cry i bear through it
even if i can’t listen to my heart
even if i can’t seek out my love
I try smiling/laughing in front of you once again today.

free writing : senpai

Don’t call me up for an empty date
I wanna get through to you and get out of this state
Tokyo in the wintertime, as I walk on by
Hear the lights like a lullaby
It’s got the message that’s in the air
Count the colors, and colors beware

“Senpai”

I was shocked to see my high school senpai in the hospital corridor. For a second, he held the same expression as mine on his face. As he regained his composure, he continued to go on his way, as I wasn’t there. I do not know what I felt at that moment. There is no anger or hatred. Frustration, maybe. I have had liked my senpai for such a long time. I admit I felt quite frustrated when he acted as if we were total strangers. From that day, we had started a routine to run into each other way, going the opposite direction at the same corridor almost everyday.

I so wanted to be in your heart
I so wanted to be in your heart
But you wanted her and me on my own
You don’t know that it left another hole

She was like a big sister that I never had. Living away from family make me longed for someone to cling for. She was the reason I went to the hospital during my lunch hour. She always complained about how I look paler than she does. Even in her worst day, she still looks beautiful and lively, as she was not sick. She often jokes that if we change places the doctor may not notice it.

When she was discharged from the hospital, she asked me out on a dinner to celebrate. I was excited. It had been a long time since we had decent dinner together. As I was about to enter the restaurant, I saw her with my senpai. They seemed to get along very well. He was laughing. The first time I had seen since a long time ago. Are they seeing each other? Why there was not even a pinch of jealousy when I saw the both of them together? Am I really over him? What if I do not want to? I picked up my phone and told her I had to do a rain check. Later that night, he called me. Her condition had worsened.

When she told me about him during my frequent visits, I could see her eyes sparkle. I was relieved to know that they are not in such relationship. But it was obvious that she loved him. The way she talked about him, the way she looked at him we bumped into him, the way she smiled when he greeted her and as usual he ignore my existence, the way she laughed at his jokes, the same jokes that I used to tell him. She was totally immersed into him. Like I used to be.

Last night I wrote something like it’s more than pain
And secret numbness is all that remains
Tokyo in the summertime and night time blues
Go take some break, but don’t tell me what to do
It’s got the message that’s in the air
Count the colors, and colors beware

I was in a room full with books on the highest floor of an abandon building. This place held many memories of my senpai and me. We used to hang a lot at this place and he was always teasing me for easily immersed with a storyline. This place used to be so special. I really missed those times. I missed his jokes. I missed the way he looks at me. I missed his loop-sided grin. But most of all, I missed the senpai that I used to know not the senpai that I bump into almost everyday.

I so wanted to be in your heart
I so wanted to be in your heart
But you wanted her and me on my own
You don’t know that it left another hole

Suddenly, there he was, at the door, with anger in his face, demanding the reason I came back to this place. I was too surprised to answer. Shouldn’t he be at the hospital right now? Her operation was going to start in a few hours. As I opened my mouth to ask him, I felt the floor below me start collapsing. My senpai was still at the door looking at me with blank expression. We stare at each other for a while before the gravity pulled me down. I try to find something, anything to hold on. My senpai was still standing there motionless watching as I fall. I try to reach for him but he was to far away. The last word that I muttered was,

“Senpai”

Don’t run into summertime, it’s just nostalgia
Don’t run to summertime, it’s just the radio
The surface could be sweet but poisonous inside

I do not know how long I had wandered around the busy city. People were so busy rustling around, they hardly even noticed anyone but themselves. I try my best to follow their fast pace but a newsstand caught my attention. I reached for the newspaper, ignoring the look the owner of the newsstand gave to me. It was a picture of me, my pale body lying there between the ruined walls of the collapsed building. I was wearing the same sleeveless and black skirt I’m wearing now. He didn’t even try to save me. He just watched and let me die. He just watched me die. Watch me die. Don’t even try to save me. Watch me die. Watch me die. Watch me die. Then he probably went to the hospital to save her life. My heart ache at that thought. Am I better off dead to him? And that expressionless look on his face, it just hurt me more. Hatred. I wish I can hate him. I was at the edge of crying when a familiar word formed at my lips,

“Senpai”

Just get away with some old cliche
But when the words get life, it’s hard to say
You will never know how I felt inside
It’s got the message that’s in the air
Count the colors, and colors beware

I smile at the scene in front of me. The lake was as beautiful as it was before. The last time I came to this high school was seven years ago. I turn around when she tapped my shoulder. The smile on my face widen when I saw her eyes darting all around the place.

“This was his school?”

I nodded slowly leading her way to tour her around the school. I always wondered why she adores him. And it was clear when one day she told me during one of our girl’s night. When she was diagnosed with the sickness that runs in her family, her world went black. All the doctors seem to give up and she already feel like dying. However, when he was posted at the hospital, he gave her hope. He tried his best to cure her and he almost succeed. Her health starts to improve. Even though it took a long time, she can feel nothing but grateful. To her, he was a savior. Her savior. He tried his best to save all of his patients including her. But he just watched me die. I smiled bitterly at that thought.

I so wanted to be in your heart
I so wanted to be in your heart
But you wanted her and me on my own
You don’t know that it left another hole

As I glanced at the school for the last time, I wondered if my feelings were one-sided all along. That day was the same as any other day we see each other. When his face starts to lean close to mine, I was startled. My feelings were undefined. Confused? Yes. Surprised? Yes. Sad? No. Happy? Happy? No. Definitely no. When he leaned on closer and the tip of our nose almost touch with each other, I backed away as far as I can from him and look the other way around. Pretending nothing happened. I heard him muttered a ‘sorry’ under his breath. I usually ignore the fact that he accidentally touch my hand or accidentally brushed my face and even when he accidentally pulled me close to him. He was the only male that I opened myself to. Probably because I like him. He was special. But no matter how special he was, it was definitely wrong. If he were any other person, I would have already slapped him. We went through the rest of the day as nothing had happened. He laughed at my lame jokes and I pouted when he started teasing me. As usual as any other day we went out since we can no longer see each other as both of us had entered different college. That was the last day we saw each other before I met him again at the hospital. The latest news I heard a week later after our last meeting, he had gone steady with a college mate. After hearing the news, I know I had made the right decision. Come to think of it, my feelings were definitely one-sided all along.

I so wanted to be in your heart
I so wanted to be in your heart
But you wanted her and me on my own
You don’t know that it left another hole

I hugged her for the last time, knowing that we may not have the chance to see each other. She gave me a peck on the cheek. That is how we parted. However, before long, I heard she shouted my name. I looked back and saw her drifting away.

“I know I shouldn’t have told you this, but don’t you know why he never made it to the hospital?” She shouted at me.

I look at her, try to understand what she about to say.

“They found a body not far from yours.” She paused.

A body. Could it be?

“There’s a picture of you in his wallet”



--------------------------------------------------------->> my all time favorite sbb aku alami sendirik (mimpi ek..aku xmati lg)..ditulis zaman aku mula2 pindah v5 dulu..huhu..lame gler..dan senpai tu mmg adalah senpai yg aku penah suka..huhu..tapi peringatan: cter ni bkn cter idup aku..xde kaitan pun..kebetulan je dlm mimpi tu aku terbayang die tuh..


first and the only (wat mase nih) post aku kat kapasitor.net..hehe..and the feedback was alhamdullilah, mberangsangkn..walopon ade yg tanye ntuk clarify sesuatu yg dorg xphm..haha..susah nk pahamkah?..and just to add, aku x suka bg nama pada watak2 coretan aku..name yg salah bley bg impression yg salah..my one cent lah..

ah, yes!..credits for the inlet song, I So Wanted - Rie Fu..
lagu nih best..seyes!

free writing : mengenangmu

Kerispatih - Mengenangmu


Takkan pernah habis air mataku
Bila ku ingat tentang dirimu
Mungkin hanya kau yang tahu
Mengapa sampai saat ini ku masih sendiri


He cried. Again. He was tired of crying. He really was. But the tears keep flowing. Why is it had to hurt so much? Why the pain would not go? He felt as if he was stabbed all over but there was no blood. There used to but not anymore. Why did he had to found himself in this situation. All useless. Unable to move. Unable to hold her. Unable to see her. For the very last time. And at moment like this he pondered, why he was still alive and she was not.


Adakah disana kau rindu padaku
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda
Bila masih mungkin waktu berputar
Kan kutunggu dirimu


If there was no motorcycle suddenly coming out of nowhere at the junction, he most probably will not need to dodge. He will not lose control over the car. They would not ramp over the road. They would not get stuck over tree before the gravity pulling them.


Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah diriku dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi



She could be alive. She could be laughing at his words. She could smiled. If and only if.


Adakah disana kau rindu padaku
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda
Bila masih mungkin waktu berputar
Kan kutunggu dirimu


If it was not raining. If he paid more attention to the road. He wanted to always look at her face and feels her presence, but now she had gone. Leaving him all alone. If only they went to nearby store. If only he asked a copy of the final exam papers from his friend instead insisting to photocopy them himself.


Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah diriku dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi


All he wanted was to spend more time with her. This will be their last semester studying together. If he knew before hand, he would try to stop it with all his might. He never intended it turned to be this way. Not when she meant everything to him


Adakah disana kau rindu padaku
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda
Bila masih mungkin waktu berputar
Kan kutunggu dirimu


Awake with pain all over his body, the first thing came on his mind was her. But being in coma for two weeks with two broken ribs and disoriented vertebrata, he was told to prioritize his treatments. No one had mentioned anything about her. With all his heart he had hoped that her injuries would not hurt as much as his. And he could never guessed that he was right all along.


Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah diriku dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi


After a week, he was unable to locate her in the hospital. Worries started to bug him. He knew something was wrong when his father asked him to be ready for the worst and his mother sat beside him. By the time the truth was told, he felt the world went dark and sob took over him it was almost hysterical. The doctor and nurses were needed to tranquilize him.


Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah dirimu dalam kedamaian


He was thankful she was not in enormous pain. He hoped she was not. But the way she died broke his heart. He was partly responsible after all.



Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi


She died on the spot as the car hit the ground. She broke her neck and and her pelvis. The road was flooded with her blood as the rain was pouring heavily.


Biarlah ku simpan


If he were able to meet her somehow, he will tell her he was sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry for not being able to protect her. Sorry for thinking he can go against what meant to be. Sorry for not accepting her death and made himself being pitiful.


Sampai nanti aku kekal selamanya


Reciting the last sentence of Yaasin at her grave, he prayed with all his heart, she will be resting peacefully. And if his time has come, he will be able to meet her once again.


Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi …



a/n: based on a true story--> jiran aku..tp aku da modified2 sket..

This post has been edited by kucEn_siaM: Feb 11 2008, 12:03 AM


--------->> sumthing yg aku post kat k5 satu mase dulu..hehe ^^

free writings : home - part 1

something yang aku tulis time intern dulu..
time ni aku tgh frust --> pengakuan ikhlas..hehe..

hev a nice time reading ^^
____________________________________________________________________

There she was. She was relieved work had end. But she really hated it when she reached home. It never felt like home. Not anymore. Not when he’s no longer here. Not when she went back to that empty and dark house.

She always hated being alone. But that is how she lived for the past years. Alone and lonely. He never called. He never texted her. She wondered why the heck she still drags her feet to the empty house everyday after work. It is not like she doesn’t afford to rent another apartment far, far away from this house that most of the time reminded her about him.

“Because, honey, you really can’t afford it the way you live if it’s not for him”

She sighs out loud for her consciousness. How she hated him for giving her more than enough money to spend it recklessly and still is happy about it. Heck, she doesn’t even need to work at all except that it killed her to spend the whole day in the forlorn house. Why is it he never remember to call her or texted her, yet every month her account will be top up with a lump of money. Doesn’t he understand what the money can’t buy? Doesn’t he realize that she doesn’t need the money? Okay, she needs the money. She can’t live without money. Who can anyway? No money, no talk man. The point is, money is essential but it definitely can’t buy everything. But most of all, money can not bring him to be at her side when he needed him the most.

Like tonight. She stares emptily at her phone. Maybe he had forgotten. Maybe he did not even care. But can’t he at least pretend to care for just for tonight? With those amount of money his making, he certainly can afford to pay the bill. Even if he is too busy, he can always text her. How long will it take just to type a simple “Happy Anniversary”? To call or to text him first was not her option. She somehow grow tired of always been the one to take the initiative. Not only that, lately he didn’t even bother to return her calls or text her back. And that ‘lately’ have last for more than one year. She sigh out loud, frustrated.

Why am I still here, I could’ve moved on, couldn’t I?

The only thing that binds her to him is the platinum ring that stuck at her finger, hoping that he still wearing his. Stuck. She laughs at the word. How truthful that word is. There was a time she really wants to pull it from her finger and throw it away, but it stuck. She can’t take it off. No matter how hard she pulled. No matter how much soap liquid she washed her hand with till her hand all dried up. This was his doing. She is very certain of that. In her sleep, he probably slipped in a similar, but smaller ring to her finger. The laugh he gave away when she accused him was the ultimate proof.

“Missy, now you’re mine, forever. Even the ring is agreeing with me”

Missy. He had always called her that. From the first day they met at her parents’ house. Once, she asked him

“Why Missy? You can always call me Sayang or Dear or even Dinda,” She almost laughed at the last word she uttered. Ewww.Geli la plak.

“Because you’re messy, Missy,” he said, attempting to keep a straight face.

At those words, she really felt like she has the urged to smack him down. Luckily he is much much taller than her. She’s a tall person herself, standing at 5’6” but compared to 5’11” person like him, it would likely her to be smack down, if there were any attempts made.

How she missed those times. The time that he was here. The time she can feel him. See him. Hear him. Touch him. How may years have it passed? Living without him, she wondered how she survived. Maybe she lived to comfortably to be relying everything on him. And she cursed him for that, for pampering her too much that she stumbled when she have to face the world herself. She had live fine, more than fine before he came. She thought she’d be fine too. She had lived well before, definitely she can live well after too, right? But after sometimes, she knew she was wrong, big time.

Another stressful day with another mountain of works. Being back at the forlorn house just add up the depression. She yet sigh another sigh. Something red catches her eyes. And a lot of them. What could it be?

__________________________________________________________________

jeng3x.. TBC~