falling..

"if i fall, will u fall with me?" --> status ym nih..

"i will"

It makes me happy that he answered that.. he was one of the guy that i respected ever since we started our friendship.. and he isn't the type that would say something just to soothe me.. it made me happy he meant what he said..(or i hope so ;p)

thank you.. thank you for being my friend.. thank you for your answer..

sometimes, i wonder.. if i actually fell (metaphorically or literally), would there actually someone that is willing to be pull down together with me.. just letting things to fall in places and let yourself falling together..

what the hell i'm rambling about?.. haha.. must have been the hormones ><" (asek2 salahkan hormon.. haih~)

i really want to try bungee jumping.. to let yourself fall from high places.. to have the wind hit your face.. to experience a new kind of adventure.. to be able to feel the fear, the nervousness , the adrenaline pumping, the excitement, the relief (if the rope don't pop on you ;p).. can i really have the guts and not back off at the last minute?

i tend to do the same thing in relationships.. especially to those i'm new with.. i let things falls and eventually (and unfortunately) the rope breaks..-sigh- .. and it's all become too late.. - double sigh- .. at times i hardly think about others' feelings and went a little bit harsh.. sometimes it was because i become irritated for people that barely know me and talk as if they know me inside out.. for example

"saya suka awak sebab awak lembut "

you better think twice or more before saying that.. i doubt you will say that if you had seen me at home.. with my loud voice and not-so-polite manner, i am so so so far far away from that.. not to mention my feisty-ness..

and that's why it's kinda fun being friends with people that i need not to be polite with.. those i dont need to impressed.. whom i can say my thoughts out loud.. whom that are able to see my crazy side.. but i have to admit, i am not being able to do that with just anyone.. even not some of my closest friends.. and lately, i seem to not able to do that much anymore.. damn conciousness!

maybe this will be off-topic, recently i met some one that i'm attracted to.. i was very happy that the feeling was mutual for him.. heck, i was very delighted when he contacted me (as i said, i'm attracted to him, if not i wont bother to text him back ..and notes to all my frens : sometimes when i'm not replying ur messages, please dont misunderstood negatively, ok?.. especially at home..bcuz i'm only with my mobile at night..sorry for any inconvenience~).. i really am happy, eventho i dont admit it to his face.. but maybe pride and ego got in the way.. or maybe i was afraid.. it doesnt end well for me the last time.. and he seems to be on a fast ride.. while i like things to fall in places on their own.. and somehow,someway, i may pushed him too far.. well, he might have been overboard at that time too..so the both of us is at blame!.. anyway, i'm sorry.. i tried my way to make amends by pushing aside my pride.. but to no avail.. so, lastly from me.. thank you.. thank you for the short time we know each other.. thank you for saying that you liked me ( i'm actually allergic to that, thus resulting the unnecessary responds ;p.. dont ask me why).. i kinda hope we can still be friends altho, i dont think u'll feel the same.. wishing you all the best for your final semester! ^^

(macam dediket last paragraph ni kat die plak ><" )